


Thanksgivukkah

by tprillahfiction



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Chanukah, Chanukah Fic, Family, Holidays, Jewish Star Trek, Jewish!Kirk, Jewish!McCoy, Jewish!Spock, K/S Advent, K/S Advent 2013, M/M, Thanksgiving, Thanksgivukkah, home for the holidays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-05
Updated: 2013-12-05
Packaged: 2018-01-03 13:21:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1070935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tprillahfiction/pseuds/tprillahfiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: Bones invites Jim over to his family home in Georgia for the very rare joint holiday celebration of ‘Thanksgivukkah’ (Thanksgiving/Chanukah).  Bones tells Jim to bring along a date, so Jim puts in an advert in craigslist.  </p><p>Beta: Ivycross</p><p>Tropes: Jewish!Kirk, Jewish!McCoy, family, Chanukah fic, Thanksgiving, snowy!Georgia</p><p>Warning: there's some non explicit incest (between 3rd cousins)</p><p>Author’s note:  In this story, both Jim and Bones are Jewish.  And for the sake of this fic, Thanksgivukkah occurs in the 23rd century.</p><p>Written for K/S Advent 2013 in honor of Thanksgivukkah!  (1st night of Chanukah and Thanksgiving occurring on the same day.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thanksgivukkah

THANKSGIVUKKAH

 

“Unbelievable,” Bones said, as they sat in his office sipping on saurian brandy.  

“Hmm?” Jim asked.

The doctor pointed to his PADD which was now showing the Earth calendar on its screen.  “Thanksgivukkah.  Thanksgiving and the first day of Chanukah occurring on the same day.”

“Chanu-giving,” Jim suggested.  

“What?”

“Thanksgiving and Chanukah.  Chanu-giving.”

“It’s called, Thanksgivukkah, Jim.”

“Where’s it written? Chanu-giving.  I like that one better.”

“ _Gay k’ken in yam_ , Jim.”

“Sure, Bones.  Whatever you said.”

“You don’t know what the hell I said.”

“All I know, is it wasn’t very nice.  Probably ‘go fuck my mother’ or something sweet like that, right?”

Bones rolled his eyes.  “Seriously, Jim.  Last time Thanksgivukkah happened was in 2013--not in our lifetimes.  Next one isn’t gonna occur for another 70,000 years.  That’s how rare it is.”

Jim whistled.  “Should inform Spock.  He’s fond of anomalies.”

“He doesn’t give a shit about our Earth holidays.”

Jim frowned at that, then nodded.  “‘I suppose you’re right.”

“Y’know Jim, Thanksgivukkah would be even better if we could go home.”

“Well, Bones, we can celebrate Chanu-giving aboard ship.  There’s other Jews on board besides you and I.  Chekov, for one.”

Bones scowled at his brandy.  “Yeah.  I know.”

Jim smirked.  “Guess what, Bones.  We’re in route to Earth. We’ve been assigned shore leave.  The Enterprise is going to undergo routine maintenance.  Whole crew’s getting leave at the same time.”

Bones broke out into a grin, those blue eyes dancing with excitement.  “We’ll be home for Thanksgivukkah?  On Earth?!”

“Yes, we’ll be home for Chanu-giving and the rest of Chanukah and approximately two standard weeks after that.  Give or take, depending on how long those retrofits take.”

“Are you shitting me?”

“Would I ever do that to you, my friend?”

“We never get to go home during the months of Kislev/Tevet.”

“We are now. Unless something happens--”

Bones held up a hand, shushing him.  “Don’t jinx it.  We haven’t been home in a year.  A whole year, Jim!”

Jim took a sip of his drink.  “It’s been longer than a year.”

*

“Report for your signature, Captain.”  On the bridge, Spock handed over the PADD.

Jim took the stylus from the first officer, “Thank you, Mr. Spock.”  He signed it with a flourish.  “Here you go.”  He smiled.

Spock took it from him, raising an eyebrow.  “You appear to be in a rather pleasant mood, Captain.”

“Aren’t I always, Mr. Spock?”

Spock appeared to hesitate.  “Ah...well....”

“Oh.  I take it I’ve been a little irritable, lately.”

“Perhaps.” Spock gave him the tiniest smirk.  “Nothing I cannot tolerate.”

Kirk flashed his eyes, “Good, Mr. Spock.  I’m glad.”

Spock continued standing next to the captain’s chair, PADD now shoved under his arm.  “Why, Captain?”

“Why what, Mr. Spock?”

“Why the sudden change in temperament?”

“Oh...it’s just that we’ve been ordered to Earth for three weeks shore leave.”

“Yes, I am aware.  I am your first officer.”

Jim met his eyes.  That tone.  Was the Vulcan flirting with him?  No, couldn’t be, but those dark eyes appeared devilish, almost.  Could Spock tell he ached for him, always had-- no...knock it off.... He shifted in his seat.  “Yes.  Thank you.  The thing is, during our shore leave on Earth we’ll be able to celebrate uh...Thanksgiving.   You know, the uh...Earth holiday of--”

“I am familiar with the Earth celebration of Thanksgiving, Captain.”

“Does your mother celebrate Thanksgiving?”

Spock threw him a look that plainly said: ‘are you kidding?’

“I suppose not.  What was I thinking?  But... Chanukah?  Are you familiar with the Jewish festival of Chanukah?”

“Affirmative.”

“Well.  Good, Mr. Spock.  That way, I don’t have to uh...” Jim shifted in his seat again.  “You see, this year, Thanksgiving and the first day of Chanukah are combined.  Both occurring on the same day.  Last time this happened it was the year 2013.  Next one won’t be for another 70,000 years.  An anomaly.”

“Thanksgivukkah,” Chekov called over from the navigator’s position.  

“Yes, thank you, Mr. Chekov," Jim replied.  "Chanu-giving.”

“What is Chanu-giving?” Chekov replied.  “It’s Thanksgivukkah.”

Spock glanced over from Chekov back to Jim.  “I see, Captain.  It indeed is an anomaly.”

“You like anomalies.  Don’t you.”  Jim almost fluttered his eyelashes but managed to keep himself in check.

Spock raised an eyebrow in response and Jim immediately felt like a fool for saying such a silly thing.  He watched the first officer nod and walk back over to the science/library station. 

“I like a lot of things,” Spock seemed to mutter wistfully when he sat down, Jim wasn’t sure, and the Vulcan was a fair distance away from him and probably hadn’t said it, he was simply hearing things.  

God, he needed some leave.

*

As he’d said, he’d really really needed leave for the R & R, but he felt ambivalent about celebrating the holidays of Thanksgiving or Chanukah on Earth.  He had no family.  Well, okay he had one family member left, but Peter was off planet, in foster care and wouldn’t be able to come to all the way to earth just to have a thanksgiving meal with Uncle Jim, maybe light the _Chanukiah_.  So he’ll be alone on Thanksgiving and Chanukah.  He would maybe have preferred to celebrate Thanksgiving and Chanukah aboard ship.  But no, they were going to Earth.  Bones would go home--  As in Georgia home, with the doctor’s own huge extended family.  Spock would--well the Vulcan would most likely prefer to stay aboard ship to supervise the retrofits or travel to Vulcan.

Maybe Scotty would be willing accompany him to Wrigley’s Pleasure Planet.  Those inhabitants had never heard of Chanukah or Thanksgiving--Scotty didn’t have a family either-- but they sure knew how to show a guy a good time.

His door chimed.  “Come!” he called out.

The doors opened up to admit....  “Evening, Jim.”

“Hi, Bones.”

“S’matter?”

“Nothing.”

“Looks like you’re brooding over something.”

“I’m not brooding over anything.”

“You’re not happy.”

“What do you want, Doctor?”

The CMO folded his arms.  “Thanksgivukkah.  That’s what I want.”

“Bones,” Jim said, sitting up and sighing.  “Your excitement over Chanu-given is endearing.  Wait till we get to Earth, okay?  Only two more days, maximum warp.  Just relax.”

“I am relaxed.”

“If you say so,” Jim muttered.

“You’re gonna be all alone on Thanksgivukkah, aren’t you.”

Jim waved the doctor off.  “Doesn’t matter, I have plenty of paperwork to get caught up on.”

Bones glanced sideways.  “Oops.  As a matter of fact, so do I.  I’m behind on my charting.”

“Don’t tell me that, Bones.”

The doctor clapped his hands together.  “I can’t wait till we get to Earth, Jim!  Can’t wait!  Deep fried cajun Turkey with all the fixings, cornbread, cranberry sauce, watermelon, cornbread--”

“Pumpkin pie and whipped cream,” Jim said, grinning.

“Not to mention, Jim,” Bones replied.  “Latkes, sufganiot, cheese, lots and lots of booze.”

“They tried to kill us, they didn’t succeed, lets eat.  I’m getting hungry just thinking about it, Bones.  Thanks a lot.”

Bones chuckled.  “Alright, alright, alright, I’m off to bed.  Goodnight.”  He halted at the door.  “Oh...Jim.  I almost forgot.  You’re coming over for Thanksgivukkah.”

“Aw, Bones....you don’t have to invite me.”

“Yes I do.  No sense in you being all alone on Thanksgivukkah.”

“I don’t mind being alone on Chanu-giving, Bones.  There’s a restaurant I can find in San Francisco.”

“Bullshit.  What about lighting candles?  You don’t even own a _Chanukiah_.”

“Yes I do, it’s in a closet in my apartment, I think.  Maybe I’ll beam over to New York city.  Watch the Macy’s parade.”

“What the hell you want to beam to that Yankee city for?  I’m hosting the Chanu-giving--dammit, see what you’re doing to me-- I mean the Thanksgivukkah meal at Bubbe's house in Georgia and I insist upon you being there.  I’m cooking, Jim.  Me.  I’m a fantastic cook.  You’re gonna be there.”

“What about the Macy’s parade?”

“You can watch it on TV, Jim.”

“Are you sure I wouldn’t be imposing?”

“Half of Conyers will be there, granted, ‘cause I’m related to everyone in town practically, but what’s two more bodies stuffed into Bubbe's house?”

“Oh,” Jim said, absently, “did you invite Chekov?”

“Yes, of course I did, but he declined.  He’s got plans for Chanukah.  And, apparently Russians don’t celebrate Thanksgiving.”

Jim smiled.  “Really.” 

“And I was considering inviting Spock--but I don’t know...he would be miserable around something like this.”

“Yeah,” Jim said, sighing.  “I suppose so.”

“So, you know, Jim, I thought perhaps you could bring along a date.”

“A date?”

“Yeah.  Jim Kirk plus one.”

“Why?”

“Well, because of what happened the last time you came over for a McCoy family celebration.  Remember?”

“I remember,” Jim replied.  “Purim, three years ago.  Your grandmother kept harassing me, bugging me, asking me when was I going to meet somebody special, kept trying to set me up with one of your female cousins--”

“And you prefer men.”

“I kept trying to explain to your grandma that your cousins were all very lovely, but....”

“Oh, Bubbe has no problems with men loving men.  It’s just that none of my eligible cousins are male, and she figured you know--you needed to be partnered with someone.  Can you blame her?  You look lonely as hell, Jim.”

“I don’t look lonely,” Jim protested.

“The hell you don’t, Jim.  Bring along a date, if you know what’s good for you.  I’ve asked someone special to come, too.”

“Really?”

“Uh huh.” Bones smirked.  “Don’t worry Jim, my family is your family and they will make your date welcome.  Be the best Thanksgivukkah meal he’s ever had.”

“How do you know?”

Bones said nothing in reply.  “Nite, Jim,” he called out before diving through the doors.

*

“So, uh, Mr. Spock,” Jim said casually over breakfast with the first officer in the officer’s mess.  “Any plans for shore leave?”

“Vulcans do not require shore leave.”

“I know they don’t.  But, since all ship’s complement will be on Earth and the surrounding planets for the three week duration, I simply am curious.  Gonna go to uh...Vulcan, maybe?  Or stay on Earth?”

“I have no plans other then to oversee the modifications to the Enterprise.”

Jim nodded glumly.  “I figured you would say that.”

Spock stared back at him.  “Is there something I should be doing?”

“Besides actually taking a shore leave and resting for once?  Even Scotty’s agreed to take leave.”

“Vulcans do not require rest in the same manner as humans would--via a scheduled leave.”

Jim itched his forehead.  “I’m aware of that Mr. Spock,” he said tightly.  “I was simply...forget it.”

After a few moments of awkward silence, Spock asked:  “What are your plans?”

“Hmm?”

“For leave?”

“Oh...uh...well as it is Thanksgiving and Chanukah...I uh--”

“Thanksgivukkah,” Spock said.

Jim glanced up in surprise.

“Mr. Chekov kindly had supplied us with the name of the anomaly,” Spock added.  “I was listening, Jim.”  Again with those flirtatious, devious eyes.  

“Nothing wrong with your hearing, Mr. Spock.”

“None at all, Jim.”  Spock held his stare, before Jim blushed and looked away.  

Jim toyed with his fork.  “Bones....has uh a...family get together type thing.  He’s uh...invited me to.  Just be a...thing....”

“Ah.  Yes.” Spock spooned in another helping of Plomeek soup to his mouth.  

“Should be fun.  Lots of food.  Lots of observation of Bones‘ extended family.  They are...a fascinating bunch.”

“I see.”

Oh, God.  Invite Spock along.  Invite Spock.  Bones said bring a date and God you want--  Jim stood up.  “ETA to Earth’s orbit, Mr. Spock?” 

“36 standard Earth hours.”

“Acknowledged.  I’ll be catching up on paperwork in my quarters.”  

Spock stood also.

“Please, finish your breakfast.”  Jim grabbed his tray strode to the recycler, then walked out.  He could feel Spock’s eyes boring into his back.

*

Instead of catching up on paperwork, he sat at his desk staring at the wall, chewing on his stylus.  

36 hours to find a date.  He ran through his mental list of possible suspects--any other Jewish crew aboard.  There was Ensign Ratner in Engineering but he hardly knew the young man.  Of course, said date didn’t have to be Jewish, but even then he couldn’t think of anyone else to invite along.  

He wasn’t attracted to anyone...besides Spock.  

However, he could forget about inviting Spock.  The first officer would flat out say: “no” and it would be awkward between them after such an invitation--well, they were friends and maybe Spock would agree to come along, acknowledging the fact that they were friends, but no he would prefer to oversee the modifications.  

Feeling silly, Jim decided to write an advert on craigslist.  In extsistance since the early 21st century, Craigslist was good for situations such as this.  Admittedly, Craigslist attracted it’s fair share of weirdoes, but maybe he’d get lucky and find somebody halfway decent.  

“I need a date for Thanksgivukkah,” he wrote.  “Please join me for a joint Thanksgiving/Chanukah celebration.  Jim.”

He sent the message, feeling ridiculous and a failure for having to resort to such things but--

*

As luck would have it the next day he opened his inbox he got quite a lot of replies to his short ad.  Surprising.  All of them sounded okay.  Normal folks.  Nobody included photos of themselves, so all he’d have to go on was text.  

Four replies down, there was the crispest response:

“I would be honored to accompany you to your Thanksgivukkah celebration, Jim.  Simply text me the time and coordinates and I shall do so.”

No name on that reply and he had to admit that intrigued him a bit.  Kinda dangerous not even to know his date’s name.  He didn’t bother asking.  There was, however, contact info.

He replied via text:  “Meet me at my apartment.  Noon.  Then we can beam to the location, if this is agreeable to you.”

The reply said: “Agreed.”

Good, now that was settled.  

*

The ship was orbiting Earth, everyone else had beamed down.  

Jim grabbed his overnight bag.  

But before he could exit his quarters, his intercomn beeped.  He hit the toggle switch.  “Kirk here.”

“McCoy, here, Jim.”

“Hi, Bones.  How’s Georgia?”

“Colder than a witch’s tit, Jim.  Big snow storm moving in.  When you get here, make sure you and your date are wearing warm clothes.  I mean it’s warm inside, we’ve got a roaring fire goin', but that short walk from the beam down coordinates to the house--”

“Yes, Bones. I will wrap up warm for that short hike to grandma’s house.  Thank you.”

“You do have a date, don’t you?”

“I dunno, Bones.  Maybe.”

“I hope so.  I told Bubbe you were bringing somebody special--you know so she leaves you the hell alone.”

“You have to see who shows up, won’t you.”

“I can’t wait for you to meet Margie,” Bones said.

“Margie?”

“Yeah, the girl I’ve invited to dinner tomorrow.  God, Jim.  She’s something.  Sexy. It’ll be a nightmare trying to keep my hands off of her with all the family around.  Alright, listen, I gotta go, lots of errands to run and I have to put snow tires on my Mustang--”

“Okay, Bones, you do that.  Be safe.  See you tomorrow.”

"12:00 hours, Jim."

"I know, I know." 

“Bye, Jim.  And uh... _Chag Sameach_.”

“ _Chag Sameach_ ,” Jim replied back.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stop by Bubbe's house now?  Light candles with us this evening?”

“I’m fine, Bones.  I want to check out my apartment, see if it’s alright.  Haven’t been there in a year.”

“Shame you have to be alone on the first night of Chanukah.”

“It’s fine, Bones.  Honestly.”

*

It was cold in the apartment, but everything seemed to be in order, just covered in a thick layer of dust.  He turned on the heat, hit the self clean switch on the control panel, stood watching the sunset on the bay from his window until the air seemed fresher.  Now that it was dark out it seemed a good time to dig out that _Chanukiah_.  When was the candle lighting times?  He didn’t know.  Bones, the pious Jew, _frum_ , as one called it was always up on all that stuff.  

Somewhere deep in his closet, in a box was that _Chanukiah_ he’d bought in Israel.  

He sighed at the mess inside.  Good luck on finding it.  

He finally found the box it resided in, after emptying out nearly the whole closet.  

Finally he pulled out the _Chanukiah_.  It was beautiful. He’d forgotten just how stunning it was.  Eight branches.  The shamash higher than the rest.  Sterling silver, cost a ton of credits, but when he saw it in that shop by the river, he’d had to have it.  

He dug around in the box and saw no candles.  Well he hadn’t used this thing in years, of course there wasn’t any, he’d used them up a long time ago.  

Now he’d have to go on a hunt to locate them in a store.  And most likely nobody carried them.  He turned on his PADD to put in a search--but noticed the two small white and blue candles sitting on his dining room table.  They were accompanied by a note:

“ _Jim, it’s still a shame you have to light the chanukiah all alone.  Chag Semeach._

_Bones.”_

He smiled.  Good old, Bones.  

He set the menorah on the table, lit the shamash, then the first candle.  After he said the blessing, he sat contemplating the flames, their beauty.  He wondered what his date would be like, what the guy would look like, would he enjoy himself, was he Jewish, would he be interesting, would he be a nutcase, a creep, a serial killer?  Maybe he shouldn’t have invited a stranger to Thanksgivukkah dinner, what if the guy ended up hurting Bones‘ family?  He was taking considerable risk in asking for a date on Craigslist.  

Maybe he should contact the guy and tell him he changed his mind.  But that would be rude.  And Jim Kirk was many things, but he was never rude.

Well, when the guy turned up to meet him if he looked odd, then it was off.  

*

At noon the next day, his door chimed.  God, that was the date!  Jim checked himself in the mirror, suddenly terrified.  He looked okay.  He hit the door switch.  It opened to admit:

Spock.

Spock?  Oh no.  There’s a problem with the Enterprise.  That would be the only reason the first officer would be here.  Dammit.  

“Spock, everything alright?”

“Everything is fine, Captain.”

“How’s the Enterprise maintenance going?”

“It is all in order.”

“Good.”

He stood there at the door, studying the Vulcan.  Strange.  The first officer was clad in civvies.  Black shirt, sweater, corduroy trousers.  Looked rather fetching.  Immediately he wished, truly wished that it was Spock who would be accompanying him to Georgia.  But a family dinner like this, with the McCoy’s, that wouldn’t be Spock’s thing.  

“Jim?” Spock was saying.  “Jim.”

“Huh?”

“Are you going to invite me in?”

“Oh,” he said, blushing, remembering his manners.  “Oh...I uh...sure.  I suppose you could wait along with me.  Better that way.  Safety in numbers.”

“Safety in numbers?” 

“Yeah, uh...come in, come in.”  He waved the Vulcan inside.  

“Thank you.”

“Here.  Sit.”  Spock sat.  “Would you like some tea?”

“Yes.  I would.”

“Good, I uh...What time is it?”  

“12:05 hours.”

“Oh.  Damn.”

“Why?”

“I’m expecting someone to arrive shortly, Spock.”

Spock seemed crestfallen at that.  “I see.  Then, perhaps I should go.”

“No, no, no, no.  I’ll get you that tea.  All I seem to have is cammonile.  Haven’t ordered any groceries.”

“Cammonile would be fine.”

Jim went to the small kitchenette.  From his vantage point, he could still see Spock, sitting on the couch, ramrod straight.  The date was seriously late.  Maybe the guy wasn’t even going to show up.  God, he wished for the millionth time he could have invited Spock.

He came out with two steaming mugs and handed one to the first officer.

He noted Spock staring at the _Chanukiah_ on the dining room table.  “That is a stunning menorah, Jim.”

“It is, isn’t it.”

“Happy Chanukah, Jim.”

“Thank you.”  Jim took a sip of the tea.  

“The festival of Chanukah commemorates the rebellion of the Maccabees against Antiochus IV Epiphanes,” Spock said.  “They hid in the temple against their oppressors where they lit a seven branched menorah.  They had only enough sacred oil to last one day, but miraculously it burned for eight.”

“That’s right,” Jim said.  “A miracle, or an anomaly--the anomaly was the miracle.”

“Indeed.”

“And you do like anomalies.”

“I do.”

Jim glanced down at his mug.  “I might as well tell you, what’s going on.  I uh...invited a date to meet me here, to accompany me to Bones’ family Thanksgivukkah.  And for the life of me, I don’t know why I put an ad in on craigslist.  Maybe I need my head examined.  He’s really late and quite frankly I’m getting nervous and well if you don’t mind waiting for him here with me.  I’d feel better about that--”

“Jim.” Spock looked into Jim’s eyes.  “It is me.”

“I know it’s you.  I’m looking right at you.”

“I am the one.”

“For what?”

“I answered your advertisement.”

“In craigslist?”

“Indeed.”

Jim stared a moment, slack jawed.  “You?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I take it you are not amused, Jim.”

“It’s not funny--was this supposed to be a joke?  Bones put you up to this?”

“Negative.”

He found himself snapping out:  “Then why are you here, Mr. Spock?”  In fact now he felt hot under the collar, profoundly embarrassed.

Spock stood.  “Forgive me.  I should go.”  He went to the door, but paused before he left and said almost in defiance.  “I do not know what made me do this--except that I wished to be your date for the gathering.”

“Wait a minute.  You wanted to accompany me?”

“Yes.”

Jim crept closer.  “Do you understand what this means?”

Spock stared into his eyes.  “I am fully aware of what this entails.  What a date is.”

Jim kept staring, saw the raised eyebrow and finally smiled.  “Well, then.  We should get going.  Right?”

“Affirmative.”

“I’m glad that’s all settled.”

“So am I.”

“So did you know it was my ad in craigslist?  Or do you often trawl Craigslist, looking for a random date?”

“I knew it was you.”

Jim gave a flirtatious smirk, and noticed it was returned.  “Oh you did, did you?  How did you even know I was on craigslist?”

“Jim, I have a class 7 computer rating.”

“Oh, right.  Of course you do.”  He went to the closet and pulled out a coat.  “Did you bring a warm jacket?  Apparently it’s freezing in Conyers.”

“I am afraid I did not.”

“Well, you’ll have to wear one of mine.”  Jim selected another coat, slid it off the hanger.  “Here.  This’ll keep you warm.  Bones’ll have my head on a platter I don’t .”

“I am quite certain you will keep me warm, Jim.”

Jim’s breath hitched a that.  He handed over the coat, watched as the Vulcan donned it then put on his own.  The coat looked as if it was made for Spock.  “Ready?”

Spock nodded.

*

They materialized at the coordinates.  There was a dusting of snow on the ground.  More snow was falling.  Should have worn gloves too.  “Holy, shit!” Jim said, laughing, breathless.  “Bones wasn’t kidding!  I’ve forgotten what a real winter feels like.”

“Is it not far colder in Iowa?” Spock asked.

“I haven’t been to Iowa in years.  Nothing there for me, anymore.”

As they began walking, Spock suddenly slid his warm hand into Jim’s.  

Jim squeezed it, cherishing the contact.  “The Enterprise is home for me.  The only home I’ve known.  The only family I’ve known for a long time.”

“Agreed,” Spock said.

*

Bones opened up the front door, breaking out into a grin.  “Jim!   _Chag Sameach_!”  Bones was clad in jeans, an ol’ miss tee-shirt, an apron that said: ‘Kiss The Cook’ and was wearing a University of Mississippi kepah upon his head.  “About time you got your ass here and--” the doctor broke off.  “Oh, hello Spock.”

“Hello, Doctor.  Happy Thanksgivukkah.”

Bones glanced from Jim back to Spock and back again.  “Happy Thanksgivukkah, Spock.”  After a beat he said, “Well, get your asses in here before I have to treat you two for frostbite!” he practically shoved them inside the house, slamming the front door.  “Ma!  We got a situation here!” he shouted to an unseen body.

“ _What_?!” the unseen body shouted back. 

“We got a vegetarian!  We gotta make sure we have enough food that he can eat!”

“ _There’s plenty of vegetables!  Relax_!”

“Get a tofurky started, Ma!” Bones yelled back.  They began shouting to each other in a language Jim was familiar with, but unable to speak, Yiddish.  Jim glanced at Spock.

“Tofurky?” Spock asked quietly.  Jim shrugged.  

Bones’ mother showed up briefly to shower kisses on Jim.  “Welcome! _Chag Sameach_ , Happy Thanksgiving!”

She shook Spock’s hand.  “Welcome!”

“Thank you.”

She then shouted something to Bones in Yiddish before launching herself back into the kitchen. 

Bones ushered Jim and Spock into the packed living room where there was undeniably a party going on.  There had to be hundreds shoved into this living room. “Welcome to the _mishegas_ of the _mishpocheh_ ,” Bones muttered.   And it was, absolute chaos.  “Look who’s here, everybody!” Bones shouted over the music.  “This is Jim and Spock!  Here let me introduce you to some folks...” Jim and Spock met the assembled crowd.  “This is my aunt Delores, my uncle Adam....”

As Bones continued on with the introductions, some of the multitude of relations yelled out: “ _Chag Sameach_! or _Chanukah Sameach_ ” or variations thereof.  The younger crowd just nodded and said: “ _Nu._ ” 

The men seemed to be quietly staring at football on the TV screen, the women and the kids and Bones were running around like maniacs.  “Jim,” Bones was saying, “you remember my grandma!  Bubbe, you remember Jim.”

“ _Sholem alykem, Chag Sameach_!” Bubbe said.

“ _Aleykem sholem, Chag Sameach_ ,” Jim replied dutifully.    

“And who is this?” Bubbe asked, looking hard at Spock, staring at his ears.  

“This is Spock, Bubbe,” Bones replied.

“What?!”  

“Spock!” Bones shouted.  

“I heard you the first time!” Bubbe replied.  “Vulcan?”

“Yes,” Spock said.

“Spock is my date for Thanksgivukkah,” Jim explained.  Bones heard that and smirked.  

“What?!” Bubbe demanded.

“Date! Bubbe, date!” Bones replied with more volume.  “You know...boyfriend!”

She pointed her finger at Spock then Jim.  “You two.  Are an item?”

“Uh....” Jim said, before glancing briefly at Spock who nodded slightly.  “Yes.”

“Yes?!  Engaged?”

“No, not yet.”

“Why not?”

“Bubbe,” Bones warned.  He mouthed ‘sorry’ to Jim and Spock.  Jim chuckled.

“At least you showed up, unlike Leonard’s date,” Bubbe said, pointing to Bones. “ _Oy, gevalt_! The _chutzpah_.  Who doesn’t show up to Thanksgivukkah?  A _nafke_ , that’s who!   _Feh_!” 

“Bubbe!” Bones said shaking his head.  

“A _tsatskele, a shicksa_!”

“What?” Jim asked Bones.  “You got stood up?”

Bones shrugged.  “Yeah.  She commed.  She’s not coming.  In fact she broke up with me.  On Thanksgivukkah.  Hence the uh...” he pointed to Bubbe, “barrage of insults.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Bones.”

“Yeah, well....” The doctor suddenly turned and smiled at a lovely young woman.  “This here is Ivy, my third cousin.  One of them yahoos from the Hatfield side of the family.”

“Hatfields,” Spock noted.  “Are the McCoy’s sworn enemy.”

“This isn’t the nineteenth century, Spock,” McCoy snapped back.  “We’re not at war anymore.  Some of us married into that family--or they married into ours.”

“I’ve never even met my third cousin,” Jim remarked under his breath.

“Anyway, I love you both,” Bones threw a glance over at Ivy, “but I gotta git, turkey duty.   Look there’s drink!  And nosh!  And sweets!  Help yourselves!  Look Bubbe’s already making you a plate but don’t spoil your dinner!” He mock glared at Spock before taking off into the kitchen, with Cousin Ivy in tow.

Bubbe handed both Jim and Spock a plate piled up with sweets and shoved drinks into their hands.  Jim glanced at the Vulcan who now appeared in shock.  

“Eat!  Eat!” Bubbe insisted.  

“Thank you,” Jim said, taking a bite of a cookie out of politeness.  Actually he couldn’t wait for the turkey.  A real turkey.  He could smell the food cooking. Mouth watering.  Maybe he should offer to go help Bones, but it was probably a madhouse in the kitchen--and he needed to stay with Spock.  

Through Bubbe they heard all the gossip of Conyers, who was ‘ _stchupping_ ’ who, who in the family was divorcing, who was living together, who was cheating on who, who was getting married.  They learned that Bones was named for his late great grandfather Leopold.  Bubbe then continued on in _kevetching_ to anyone who would listen, interspersing various words such as:  ‘ _fakakta_ ’, ‘ _putz_ ’, ‘ _shtik drek_ ’,  interjecting various curses, such as: “ _Got zol gebn, er zol hobn altsding vos zayn harts glist, nor er zol zayn geleymt oyf ale ayvers un nit kenen rirn mit der tsun._ ”  

“Good thing you don’t know what she’s saying,” Kirk whispered.  “I guess it’s true, if you can’t say anything nice, say it in Yiddish.”

“I know what she is saying,” Spock replied.  “God should bestow him with everything his heart desires, but he should be a quadriplegic and not able to use his tongue.”

“ _Zoln dir vaksn burekes fun pupik, in zolst pishn mit borsht!_ ” Bubbe said.  

“May a red beet grow out of his belly button,” Spock translated, “so that he urinates borscht.”

“God, that’s terrible,” Jim said.  “That Bubbe’s got a mouth on her.  I see where Bones learns it from.  You speak Yiddish, Spock?”

“Fluently.”

“Oh goodness, don’t let Bones know that.”

“Hey!  When are you two going to get married?” Bubbe wanted to know.

*

The Thanksgiving meal was expectedly chaotic, as one would have imagined it would be.   They all sat around the largest dining room table Jim had ever seen in his life, loaded up with food, food and more food and a festive ‘menerky’ which was a turkey menorah, created by one of the kids.  Along with the massive real meat turkey, there was the accouterments: stuffing, cranberry sauce, three different kinds of potatoes, pumpkin latkes with cranberry applesauce (for Chanukah) cornbread, pumpkin pie, different varieties of green vegetables, such as collard greens, watermelon, bread.   

After the blessing, Bones’ was given the honor of carving his own turkey and he did so proudly.  Then Bones set a tofurky and a bowl of plomeek soup in front of Spock and smiled.  

Bones sat down on the other side of Jim, as the table helped themselves to the food.  “Jim, that there is a cajun deep fried turkey.  I sat out there in the back yard shivering in the freezing cold, watching over it.”

“Deep fried?”

“The best turkey you’ll ever have,” Bones bragged.

“Oy!” Bubbe yelled on the other side of Bones.  “Haven’t tasted it yet!”

*

After the huge meal, they sat around bloated and sleepy until 4:25pm arrived (the candle lighting time).  Bones and cousin Ivy seemed to have disappeared somewhere.  Jim and Spock watched idly as the kids played a game of cutthroat dreidel.  Bubbe leaned over and suggested to Jim:  “You two should play strip dreidel...you know...later...”

“Thanks, Bubbe,” Jim said, blushing.  “We’ll uh...keep that in mind.  I think I’ll uh...take a walk outside.”  Jim stood up.

“I will, of course, accompany you,” Spock said, standing up also.

They grabbed their coats, a couple of hats, some gloves and a blanket and went out the front door.  

Miraculously, no one was sitting on the porch swing located in front of the house.  Nobody else was willing to freeze their asses off for a little bit of privacy.  Jim went over it it, Spock followed close behind.  They sat down on the swing, Jim throwing the blanket over the both of them.  

“Warm enough?” he asked the Vulcan.

“I will be.”

They sat in silence, close to each other, huddled under the blanket.  “Thank you, Spock.  You being here, with me today, for Thanksgivukkah.  It means a lot to me.”

“You are welcome, Jim.”

“And thanks for putting up with Bones’ Bubbe and her nosy questions.”

“Her behavior is typical of grandmothers,” Spock agreed.

“I don’t know, mine’s long dead.  Is yours as bad as Bubbe?”

“Mine has her moments.”

“I bet your family get togethers are very low key.  Very quiet, logical.”

“I will have to bring you along on an upcoming occasion.”

“Yes, Spock, you will have to pay me back for the torture session you’ve had to endure,” Jim said, wryly.  

“Quite the contrary, Jim, I would be honored if you did accompany me.  However you would also have to deal with my mother asking when we would get engaged.”

Jim studied his gloves, snickered.  “A universal trait.  So we’ll have to lie again and say we’re an item, is that what you’re saying?  Keep ‘em off your back?”

“Or...we could be truthful.”

Jim looked over.  “We’re not an item, Spock.”

“I know.  However, we could be.”

Jim started at that, hesitated, then finally nodded.  “We could be, yes.” He gulped.

After a long moment of silence, Spock said:  “Forgive me.  I do not know what the Earth custom is.  Do I ask?”

“What?” Jim said, flustered.  

“Do I ask you to be my...” Spock seemed to be searching for the word, “boyfriend?  Is that appropriate?”

“Yeah,” Jim said, eyes wide.  “Yes it’s appropriate, it’s more than appropriate...oh holy hell, come here, Spock.”  Jim pulled Spock to him and met his warm mouth.  Spock’s arms slid around him.  

The kiss ended and Jim lay his head on Spock’s shoulder. “God, I’m not normally so obtuse, this is a--shock--I’ve uh...wanted you for--forever.”

*

At a minute past 4:30pm, Bubbe lit the shamash, plus two oil lamps on the large _chanukiah_ as the family gathered round, singing the blessing:

“ _Baruch Atah Adonai Elohenu Melech haolam_

_asher kideshanu bemitzvotav_

_vetzivanu lehadlik ner, sher Chanukah”_

 

“ _Baruch Atah Adonai Eleohenu Melech Haolam,_

_sheasa nisim laavotenu bayamin hahem bizman hazeh.”_

 

The adults gave the kids gelt and gifts, there was more fried food and sweets and drink to be had, but frankly Jim was stuffed to the gills and didn’t want any more food or booze.  They all sat around for the required half an hour, Bubbe relating the story of Chanukah for the kids.  Jim could feel Spock’s hand very close to his, touching barely, letting him know he was there.  Jim wanted to throw the Vulcan down on the couch, right in front of everyone and make love to him, but he had to satisfy himself with barely touching his Spock--his Spock in front of the glowing, romantic oil lamps.

Eventually, Jim noticed McCoy was missing.  He got up, casually, snuck away, hunted for the man, Spock at his heels.  

They entered a darkened room, seemed to be an unused TV room.  

He turned on the light and found Bones...engaged in a sex act with cousin Ivy.  

“Oh....” Jim said, “excuse me!”  He felt himself color beet red and noticed Spock a shade of green they retreated, shutting the door.  

In the hallway, Bubbe came walking up.  “I vas looking for Leonard!  I haven’t seen him lately!  Where’s my favorite grandson?”

Jim stood in front of the door, blocking entry with his body: “Uh...I don’t know...I think he’s in the kitchen making more _sufganiot_.”

“Oh good!  Just the question I was going to ask him.”  She walked off.  

Seconds later a sweaty Bones opened the door, with a sheepish descheveled Ivy in tow.  “Oh...hi... Jim, Spock,” he said.

Jim watched as Ivy strolled over to the bathroom and shut the door.  “Really, Bones?  She’s your cousin.”

“Third cousin, alright?  We’re not that closely related.”

“Yeah, but still....”

“What?!” 

“Never mind.  Besides, the menorah is lit,” Jim said.  “The Macabees hiding in the synagogue...the miracle of the oil and here you are getting busy.  Scandalous, what would Bubbe say?”

“Hey, I waited the half hour.   Then snuck off.”

“Alright, alright, Bones, I give up. You do what you want.  It’s your house.”

“You two staying the night, Jim?” Bones looked from Spock to Jim, and effectively changing the subject.  “Plenty of room.”

“I dunno, probably should get back to the ship.”

“What for?  It’ll be there when you get back.”

Just then Bubbe came sidling up.  “You have to stay the night, Jim and Svpock!”

Jim glanced over at Spock, the vulcan nodded.  “I guess you talked us into it.”

*

They were put into separate bedrooms of course, (Bones’ family being very traditional.)  

At midnight, when everything had quieted down, Jim lay awake, debating whether or not he should sneak into Spock’s room, down the hall.  

He did.

And ran into Bones, sneaking into Cousin Ivy’s room.  He clucked his tongue at the doctor.  Bones laughed silently and gave him the thumbs up.  

He hesitated at Spock’s closed door, wondering if he should knock, but probably the whole household would hear it--instead he opened it quietly and slowly.  

Spock was already nude, waiting for him.

__________ 

FIN


End file.
